Don't be the bitter betty

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Who is this chick?

She’s smart, she has tons of friends, she’s loyal. To the outsiders looking in, she is PERFECT! She’s had a few puppy love relationships throughout her life that lasted for years but they didn’t really get serious.  You know the kind of relationships Lil Bow Wow and Lil’ Romeo used to rap about.

Finally she gets into her first real relationship, this is a “Beyonce: Dangerously In Love, Love Drought, Im in my penthouse half naked, so where the hell you at” type of relationship.

She can’t get enough of this guy. She craves him every second of the day, she feels like she can’t be without him. He treats her well, the sex isn’t that great but she still loves him to pieces.  She has a few little things that she doesn’t like about him but she’s going to stick it out because that’s her man, they’re getting married. She’s planning to have his NFL babies (In her head). A year and a half goes by, she finds out he’s been unfaithful the whole time.

Then BOOM! Her heartbreaks into tiny littles pieces and she hates every scum bag with a penis walking the planet earth. Unfortunately she begins to hit rock bottom.

Now she’s become a Bitter Betty!

I get it, at times love stinks. The love of your life might break your heart. The guy you really like won’t be that into you. Sometimes we get our hopes up, only to find out the guy ain’t sh*t! Your baby daddy might leave for a thot with more followers than you! I get it, I totally get it. I’ve been there bout’ 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times! Minus the baby daddy part.

It’s a dog eat dog game. Love is a vicious cycle. These days “side b*tches are winning,” and married men are boyfriends to single women. Dating is savage but you can’t let a few bad apples ruin the bunch. No matter how many times you alter your captions to throw shade and no matter how many memes you post suggesting that “He aint sh*t,” nothing is going to reverse what happened. You got played sis, Move forward, you’ll be aight!

Sometimes you have to roll with the punches, and charge everything to the game! It happens to the best of us. Tables turn bridges burn, you live & learn (Drake voice)!

So instead of carrying yourself like a “Bitter Betty” do your best to channel your positive energy! Heal yourself. If you date with a close guarded heart, you will attract a closed guarded heart. If you date for revenge, you will attract another man who will hurt you. And it goes on, and on, and onnnnnn!

WAYS TO GET OVER BITTERNESS:

  • Pray It Of Of You

  • Forgive & Forget

  • Workout

  • Start A Business

  • Volunteer

  • Practice Self-Care

Now I’m no love expert or anything like that, but I spent the entire 2016 being a “Bitter Betty.” That’s how I know that sh*t is for the birds. The amount of energy you spend replaying the situation in your head, wishing you would have done things differently isn’t even worth it. If it’s not a blessing, it’s a lesson. Less bitter, more glitter. No more sad sh*t, boss up babe!

Everybody Can’t Go

 

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When you are in the process of being elevated towards your destiny, keep in mind that everyone in your “circle” can’t go where God is taking you!

As humans, we get caught up in seeing “potential” in someone and we feel like we are required to drag them to the top. Can I get a “hell nawl?”

Say it with me: HELLLLLLL NAWWWWL.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not pointing the finger – I’m guilty as charged! I’ve stayed in relationships with men who were vibrating at super low frequencies, and I’ve befriended people who didn’t even deserve to be in my life!

As I evolve mentally, physically, and emotionally, I’ve realized that the relationship I have with myself is the most important relationship in the world! It took a traumatic life experience for me to step back and realize that not all storms come to disturb your life, some come to clear your path.

When you’re a light, you will naturally attract energy vultures. These energy vultures will come in all shapes and sizes, but they will often disguise themselves as friends! Whew chileeee the Devil!

They will secretly hate you because they see you getting the success they think they deserve, from the work they haven’t even done. (Sips tea) They will want your life, your lifestyle, for free – and while it’s okay to lend your BFF a sweater or spot a date for coffee, it’s not okay to have your emotions, intellect, and generous spirit taken advantage of. I REPEAT: NOT. OKAY.

This is the tell-tale sign of a one-sided friendship: you give and give, and they gladly take without ever giving back. Sure, they might say “thank you,” but are they there for you when you call? Do they help you solve problems, or do they create them? Do you feel like they’re truly present when you’re with them – that they truly see your soul – or are they sticking around for something else?These kinds of “friendships” are Britney Spears-level toxic, and the only good news is that they don’t last. They’ll drain you and try to drag you down, and you don’t need that extra gravity on your way up! Truthfully, in the long run, only mutually beneficial relationships will flourish, and those are the ones you want around anyway. Everyone can’t go with you to the next level, and here’s why:

1. They don’t wanna go

There will always be people in the world who are more comfortable living a life unexamined. Some people don’t want to rise through the ranks and won’t be able to fully empathize with your ambition orunderstand the necessary steps to success. That being said, there might be some people who don’t share your aspirations but are still 100% supportive – keep them around!

2. Misery loves company 

Everyone experiences failure, and everyone experiences pain. Sometimes, this can knock people down – and, unlike Chumbawamba, they don’t get back up again. These people might resent you for your success and assume that you had it easy and didn’t sacrifice anything to get where you’re going (which we all know isn’t true!).

3. Jealous Jessica Syndrome 

Even if their dreams have nothing to do with yours, people will still be jealous of your success. No matter your field, your job, or your dreams, people beyond peers will be envious of your lifestyle or achievements. And you don’t need that in your life.

4. It’s not their destiny

Remember that this is YOUR journey – your path to your destiny. Own it. Believe in it. You’re not responsible for their success. They need to own and believe in their own destiny, too.

Just remember: Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. Each person serves a purpose, even if it’s just to teach us that we don’t want that kind of energy around permanently. Learn from these experiences so that you can recognize the true-blue friends when they do show up, and don’t beat yourself up about losing the bad apples. Whether we realize it or not, some people are just SEASONAL. 

#Foryourmusing

Feeling lonely or hurt from a falling-out? Try repeating this affirmation to yourself each day, especially when you’re having all the feels: I now attract those for my highest good and prosperity.

Broke & Boojee: #ProTips for attending NYFW on a budget

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Do you have Carrie Bradshaw aspirations with a more realistic shoe budget? That doesn’t mean you can’t get in on the fun of New York Fashion Week! You can still have a major Sex and the City moment (okay, maybe not spontaneously modeling in your underwear like Carrie did) without the Manolo Blahniks. If I can go you can too! Here are a few ways to swing NYFW as a cheapskate: 

Travel wisely  

Depending on where you’re coming from, booking a plane, train, or automobile can be the most expensive part of attending NYFW. If you’re willing to fly Frontier, Spirit, or Southwest, you can save beaucoup bucks on your airfare. It also doesn’t hurt to keep your eyes peeled for any sales or specials running throughout the year, aka don’t wait until the last minute to book! Tuesday is the best day to book! My flight was only $187 round trip with Frontier. 

Do your hotel homework

Once again: don’t wait until the last minute to book (life motto tbh). No matter the timing, you should also use sites like Homeaway, AirBnb, and Hotel Tonight to make sure you’re getting the best deal. Put the time in to compare rates and locations – and if your hotel is close by, bring good walking shoes to hide in your large fabulous bag so that you don’t have to waste money on a cab just because you’re wearing stilettos.

Spend strategically

I know, it’s easy to find the inspiration to blow all your money on cute outfits to wear at NYFW because, hello, it’s NYFW. But you don’t need to spend your whole budget on a new Moschino dress – you can build off your current wardrobe by shopping the sales at places like NastyGal or Pretty Little Thing. I love pretty little thing because they usually have daily sales! Get 40% off your first order now.  Don’t forget that you can also find some hidden treasures on Poshmark or at a thrift store, too!

Literally rent the runway

If you know you’re never gonna wear something again but really want it, Rent the Runway is probably a good option for you. You can rent gorgeous, normally-expensive clothes and wear them with style, and no one will even know that you don’t technically own it.

“Wear something black”

Listen sis, black clothes are incredible. They’re slimming, they’re dramatic af, and it’s easy to make them look ~expensive~, especially if they’re a little structured. Layer on multiple black pieces for a monochromatic and effortlessly cool look. 

Bring your bestie 

This might go without saying, bring your bestie! Traveling together means splitting the costs of just about everything – hotel, Ubers, lunch, everything. It saves you both money and has the added bonus of someone willing to take Insta-worthy pics of you until you’re happy with the results.

Here’s the Rundown of how much I spent:  

  • Flight $187 Round Trip

  • Hotel $156.50 ($313 total split with my friends)

  • Outfits $150

  • $11 to $20 on food

  • $4-$8 on ubers

NYFW doesn’t have to be the impossible dream. If you plan ahead and spend your money strategically, you can show up looking killer – without killing your bank account.

Hustle & Heart will set you APART

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No matter how many odds are against you, nothing compares to the power inside. Remember “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” I’m not sure who said it first but I remember this famous line from the 2005 movie, “HUSTLE & FLOW.” Hustle & Flow features amazing characters, hilarious punchlines and most of all, powerful words of wisdom.

Let’s face it, it’s hard out here for a pimp, no pun intended. It’s hard to believe in yourself when all you have is less than a dollar and dream. But as DJay would say, “Push that sh*t out shug!”

Just push it out, you have to see something inside of your soul that is way beyond your potential.  Something that is waiting to burst out. Hustle & Heart WILL set you apart.

It’s a must that you go the extra mile for dreams. You gotta hustle. Break every box that others put you in. Go hard, and TAKE WHAT YOU DESERVE. Whether it’s respect, power, money or your dream career if you hustle, you’ll put yourself on. Point, blank, period.

Hustling starts with setting an overall goal after you set a goal you’ll need an execution strategy. Put the key in and ride out. You’re in charge. You’ll get frustrated, and beat down but you have to see it forward. Grab the hustle by the wheel and drive to your passion, that’s where the heart comes into play.

When you’re hustling, your HEART must be in it. Your hustle must be executed with the deepest devotion to your grind. For example:

  • Waking up a little earlier than others
  • Overworking your peers
  • Doing whatever it takes
  • Staying up a little later to perfect
  • Consistently working towards your goals

Going the extra mile will set you apart, because not very many people are willing to consistently apply themselves to their dreams. It won’t be easy but the adrenaline pumping from your heart and that mean a** hustle rattling your soul will get you to your destination. Everybody’s gotta have a dream, go get yours.

XOXO,

THE MUSE BABE

 

 

 

How To Be Successful: Focus on you own Sh*t

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HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL: If you’re modern-day millennial like myself, you probably spend tons of time on social media! Double tapping, exploring, comparing, and stalking your ex due to the new updated features. (Followed by THATBROKEBITCH2000, THOTHOE1017, +12 others) You catch my drift right?

After realizing how much time you’ve wasted comparing and contrasting the virtual world to your reality, you’ve lost 5 hours, missed your workout, and your not ready to conquer tomorrow.

Hey, I’m not judging you, we’ve all been there before! I know I have, but I realized it was consuming my life and wasting my damn time! Hell, I was keeping up with the Kardashians, and they can’t even keep up with (fill in the blank yourself)________. No shade, no tea!

That’s when I asked myself, myself said, “Hmmm?”, “What can I do to become the best version of Gabriella?” That’s when it hit me “FOCUS ON YOUR OWN SH*T!”

At that point, I was having mirror to mirror Kermit The Frog hoodie moment. I knew I had the power to change my life! I gained 5 more hours, no daylight savings honey! Multiply 5 by 7 that’s 35 hours a week, sheesh that ’s equivalent to part-time job! Sadly, I wasn’t getting paid to lurk and get hurt. I didn’t get paid to compare and contrast my life to the mofo’s that are doing the Bow Wow challenge on the daily, again no shade and absolutely no tea!

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FOCUS. FOCUS. FOCUS. As soon as I decided to focus on my own sh*t, and when I say my own sh*t, I mean my own sh*t! Not Beyonce sh*t, Rihanna sh*t, not Kim Kardashian sh*t, not Baller Alert sh*t, or that damn shade room sh*t, everything started to come together!

Yeah, you’re doing good but you could be doing great! It’s May 22nd, we’re are almost halfway through the year, what have you done so far? YOU need to FOCUS.

Focusing on your own shit will help you put everything into perspective. The vision that you have for your life will become clearer as you spend more time with yourself. Focus brings passion, passion brings motivation, motivation leads to consistency, and consistency leads to success. Some people may categorize success as a single event, but success is consistently achieving YOUR goals. Pay your dues, work hard, fall in love with the process, the results will show their ass honey! Stick with it. Focus. Flourish.

XOXO,

THE MUSE BABE